Causes of a Lack of Self Love

There are several factors that can cause someone to have a lack self esteem and self worth.

1. Bullying

Bullying is one of the major causes that can cause someone to have very little self esteem and self worth. Being picked on or harassed constantly whether in the home environment by siblings or in school by bullies can take a toll on a person’s self confidence. A suggestion to deal with the bullying is first by talking to your parents first and getting them involved by telling them exactly what is going on.

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2. Society and Media

We live in the technological age and it seems like through social media websites like Instagram and Facebook everyone is free to give their unsolicited opinion about what they like and don’t like and if you are an impressionable young teen or adolescent then this could have a negative impact on you and lead to poor self esteem. It is wise then to to limit the use of social media especially if used on a regular basis.

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3. Extremely High Expectations

Though it is a good thing to have reasonable expectations, having very high expectations placed on you can become burdensome especially if you feel like you will not be able to live up to the high expectations. Knowing that living up to the high expectation is not what is most important once you are trying your best and putting your best foot forward is what is key in a situation like this.

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Health and Self Esteem

Did you know there is a link between your mental and emotional health and your self esteem? It’s true. When you’re not in a good place emotionally or mentally it can affect the way you view yourself for example the way you view your strengths and weaknesses can be altered.

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Stress and worry can really dampen your spirits and have your self confidence at 0%. Whether your stressing about a problem in your family or a presentation you have to do for school, stress can negatively affect how you feel about yourself. You may begin to suffer from panic attacks or maybe even headaches.

Emotional distress is another thing that could hamper your self worth. When you are not clear emotionally for instance you are feeling sad or scared the way that you typically view yourself changes and not for the better.

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Keep on Loving Yourself

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As my last and final blog post for this course I would like to leave you with some final tips on how you can continue to love yourself for the unique and special individual you are!

1. Keep a Journal

One of the best ways to remind yourself of all the awesome and wonderful things that make you the person you are is by keeping a journal. You can write in your journal maybe when you have a quiet moment alone by yourself or possibly before bed. You can reread what you have written when you’re not in the best place emotionally or mentally and this will help to brighten your mood.

2. Do things you enjoy

Do you have any special hobbies or things you like to do or are good at? Then why not try doing them to make yourself feel better when you’re not feeling your best? Like I mentioned earlier, doing things you enjoy can really help to brighten you mood and boost your self confidence. So next time you don’t feel too great about yourself try singing in the shower or having a dance party in your room.

3. Positive self talk

Telling yourself positive affirmations helps you feel better about yourself. Saying simple things  to yourself like “I am beautiful” or “I am wonderful” each morning really does have a trans-formative effect on you.You may feel silly at first but like they say “You must speak things into existence” and speaking positively will help you to be more positive and feel wonderful overall.

Musicians with a Message

Inspiring others to accept themselves and love who they are, though extremely important, can become a drag if you try to drill it into people’s heads over and over without at least trying to be creative. Therefore, I believe exploring different art forms such as music helps to bring the message across in such a way that it is not boring but entertaining and informative at the same time. Music is a universal tool that has been known to unite people from all walks of life all over the world. Music has the potential to touch hearts, inspire, heal and teach and it is for these reasons why music should be revered as a necessary art form.

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Keeping this in mind, I would like to bring to your attention two artists who I feel have been doing a fantastic job at inspiring others to love and accept themselves. Jazmine Sullivan is an eight time Grammy nominated artist who has been in the music industry since the age of fifteen. She is not only a singer but also a songwriter and producer. She was executive producer on her most recent album “Reality Show” which was released this past January to widespread acclaim from music critics and fans alike. Much of the inspiration for “Reality Show” stemmed from an abusive relationship that Sullivan was involved in and the album explores this as well as other themes such as self-worth. In particular the song “Masterpiece (Mona Lisa),” one of my personal favorites, explores this theme of valuing yourself and encompasses, in an artful manner, what it means to love who you are and accept that every part of you is beautiful.

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Furthermore, Beyoncé Knowles is another artist who has been influential in inspiring others to love and accept themselves. Her last album, self-titled “Beyoncé” was the number one selling album in over one hundred countries at the time of its release. However, what really stuck out were the subject matters explored in the music. There were a range of themes starting with the preoccupation with perfection in the song “Pretty Hurts” to love and sexuality, human jealousy and infidelity, motherhood, womanhood, feminism and empowerment. The song “***Flawless” featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie explores the notion of valuing who you are and knowing that you are a flawless individual no matter how you wake up.

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If nothing else these songs will be guaranteed to uplift you on a bad day.

Fashion and Body Image

The fashion industry is a multibillion dollar enterprise that has been dictating the standards of beauty for the past two decades. This industry has been notorious for determining what is accepted and seen as beautiful and what is not in terms of what both men and women wear. Traditionally, the standard of what is accepted and seen as beautiful in this industry is tall, thin and white and this standard has extended to not only the type of clothes made by designers but also the kind of models chosen to walk in runways and fashion shows.

This exclusivity in terms of what is regarded as beautiful is one reason why there has been cases of models suffering from eating disorders, most notably, anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. The latter eating disorder is characterized by unhealthy binge eating and purging while the former eating disorder is characterized by food restriction due to a distorted body self-perception. Isabelle Caro is one such model who suffered from the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. However, she was able to bring awareness about the disorder by appearing in a “No Anorexia” campaign and writing a book and blog about her struggles with the condition.

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In recent years there have been strides towards betterment. Retail companies such as Lane Bryant makes clothing geared towards the plus size woman which is necessary for women who are bigger than the average sized woman. Furthermore, there has been a slow increase in racial diversity at fashion shows. For example Indian Designer Ashish Gupta chose all black models to walk in his runway show for London Fashion Week 2014. While, other well-known designers such as Calvin Klein, Alexander McQueen and Prada have increased the number of non-white models walking in their fashion shows in an effort to show more diversity. Additionally, All Walks Beyond the Catwalk is non-governmental organization based in London campaigning for a wider range in diversity and representation in fashion.

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Benefits of Self Love

Accepting and loving one-self may seem like an arbitrary decision but there are actual real life advantages of loving yourself.

  1. You don’t need approval

One of the biggest blessings about loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are completely is that you no longer rely on things or people on the outside to validate you. Once you develop a strong sense of self, you don’t seek out approval from others because as time progresses you understand that no one can tell you who you are or what is best for you, only you can do that.

  1. You are open to new challenges

It is essential for growth and development as person that you are open to new experiences and challenges. However, a lack of self-belief in one’s ability to face difficulties successfully can really hinder this process. This is where self-acceptance comes in. When you accept and love who you are you are no longer afraid of the unknown and you are also able to step out of your comfort zone. self-love-and-life-quotes

  1. You become more resilient

Knowing who you are and loving who you are helps to make you more resilient. A little bit of self-love helps you to be stronger in knowing that whatever may come your way, you will be able to deal with it and make whatever adjustments necessary to deal with the situation.

  1. You don’t need to be perfect

The process of loving and accepting yourself teaches you that perfectionism is not a realistic goal and it can cause a great deal of anxiety and stress. All that anyone can do at any given moment is their best and knowing this can save you from being disappointed. 925631_278062625722510_1285277442_n

Binge Purge Project

The first assignment of my Communication Studies course ‘Communication Technology’ was to take part in the Binge Purge Project. Basically what we were instructed to do was to stay away from social media for three days. Websites like Facebook, Instagram,Tumblr were now off limits. I was devastated  hearing about this assignment because I personally frequent these websites daily, sometimes on an hourly basis and so I did not think I would have the will power to say away for a full THREE DAYS.

The first day into the Binge Purge Project was alright. I was determined to stay away from Facebook  and Instagram for sure. However, staying away from Whatsapp, Youtube and Tumblr I quickly realized was going to be more of a challenge  than I originally anticipated. I used this extra free time to meet up with friends and talk face to face so that helped a great deal.

The second day was a bit more complicated. At this point I was struggling to keep myself entertained without resorting to logging into my social media accounts. I personally hate being bored and so I used Google to randomly look up things I was interested in or find out the definition of new words that I came across. Anything to not be bored was my motto at this time.

The third and final day of the Binge Purge and I was almost twitching with anticipation to finally have access to the rest of the world once again. I realized at the end of the purge that I missed out on a great deal of news (celebrity news to be exact) and I felt that I had a lot to catch up on. Thankfully, I didn’t have 50+ notifications or updates to look at but I was just happy to be reconnected with everyone again.

What are your thoughts on a binge purge? Do you think you can do a fast from social media? Leave a comment below.